Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Globe Trekker

"I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to.  But first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down." ---Mitch Hedberg

If you don't know who Mitch Hedberg is, you should look him up.  He was one of the best stand-up comedians of his time.  He died way too young.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Redheaded Update

I promise this will be the last post about Game of Thrones.

I just got to the episode where the character of Ygritte had a nude scene. Damn!  Rose Leslie is my new favorite actress.  Sorry Julia Stiles, you've been replaced.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Bows and Boobs

I've been catching up with the Game of Thrones series and this is my favorite character.  Why?  Because the actress is hot and I seem to have a thing for warrior women.  Where did that come from?  Plus she looks like Princess Merida from Brave.  That cartoon was oddly stimulating.

The last post was about Doctor Who and now this one is about Game of Thrones.  This blog is turning nerdy.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, September 20, 2013

Allons-y

The low fuel indicator light in my car looks way too much like a Dalek.  It makes me think that my car wants to exterminate me.

All of you Doctor Who nerds will feel my fear.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Circle of Life

There are a couple of tiny kittens that have adopted my front porch as their new home.  It seems they have entered their killing phase because yesterday I found a dead mouse on my sidewalk.

GD1 and I were walking and she said;

GD1: Hey Papa, look at the damn mouse.
Me:  What?!
GD1:  Right there, it's a damn mouse.
Me:  What kind of mouse?
GD1:  It's a damn mouse.
Me:  Why are you calling it that?
GD1:  Because it's not alive anymore.
Me:  Wait, what?

It finally dawned on me that she was saying "dead mouse".


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

My Dog is a Butthead Part 2

After the vet debacle, I figured I'd take Han to the park so he could play.

I stopped by Sonic and grabbed me a burger so I could eat lunch while Han played.  I sat on a bench and Han ran to and fro peeing on everything and chasing geese.  He was swimming in the pond with the geese so I let my mind wander while I ate.  I didn't notice that Han jogged up and stood beside me.  Then he did the doggy shuffle.  You know what I'm talking about!  That weird shake thing wet dogs do.  The only problem was that Han holds about five gallons of water in his fur.  When he shakes I have flashbacks to my visit to Niagara Falls.

Normally I don't mind getting a little dog water on me but dang it, I was holding a burger!  And it was a good burger too.  I think he did it on purpose.  Butthead!


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

My Dog is a Butthead Part 1

"Han - Big yellow Labrador Retriever.  Friendliest dog ever!"

That's how I described him on my family page.  After yesterday I'm now convinced that he's a butthead.

I noticed that he had a small patch of hair missing so I was concerned about him.  Now I can't have my buddy being sick so I took him to the veterinarian to have him checked out and he made a serious fax pas. I guess the smell of all the animals that had been in that office freaked him out.  I could tell he was really nervous as soon as we walked in.  I started talking to the receptionist when I noticed an awful smell.  I turned around and Han was taking a huge poop right in the middle of the floor.  Since he was the only dog in the room it was kind of hard to blame it on anyone else.  I don't think they would have believed that huge pile came from the gerbil being held by the little girl.

Needless to say, that started our visit off on a sour note.

Footnote:  It turns out that Han has a small skin infection and I have some cream to put on him for a week or so.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Thursday, September 5, 2013

I'm a Real Whiz

Let me tell you how every one of my work days begin.

My alarm goes off at 3:30 AM and I jump out of bed to turn it off before it wakes up anyone else in the house.  I'm very considerate like that! Then I prowl through my dresser for underwear and socks and then my closet looking for the rest of my clothes.

Here are a couple of facts that I've left out.  I do my clothes shopping by the light of my phone.  Why?  So I don't wake up Mrs. Penguin.  Again, I'm considerate like that.  It's hard enough trying to find socks that match or a shirt and pants that go together when I'm at my best, but at 3:30 in the morning while I'm half asleep and almost completely blinded by the lack of light is a herculean task.  Here's the other fact that I've left out, when I wake up every morning I'm on the verge of peeing all over myself.  I'm talking about a beaver's dam trying to hold back Noah's flood.

Now since I'm so considerate, I don't like to leave the room and then come back because I'm afraid I'll make too much noise and wake up Mrs. Penguin.  See what a nice guy I am?  What I end up doing is quickly jerking clothes out of the closet while I go back and forth from foot to foot doing the Pee Pee Dance.

I'm a grown man, yet this is my life *sigh*.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I'm a Monster

A couple of days ago I went with several family members to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.  I'm not really sure what the dish was that I ate but it had strips of steaks, strips of chicken, pieces of bacon, and shrimp in it.  I was eating it without much thought other than, "This tastes pretty good."

After we left the restaurant, I started thinking about that dish and I realized that a cow, a pig, a chicken, and several shrimp had to die for that one meal (and I'm pretty sure I saw a dead fly in there too).  Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge meat-eater but that was just too much death for one person's lunch.

I'm not saying that I'm suddenly going to start grazing on bean sprouts and tofu but I think I'll limit myself to killing just one animal per meal.  It's my little way of helping our little animal friends.

Two notes about this post;

1) I know this sounded cruel but keep in mind that this post was done tongue-in-cheek.

2)Notice the picture?  I did a quick search for a picture of "PETA" to put on this blog as joke about saving animals but I couldn't resist taking a jab at those hypocritical a-holes.  Also, if you search for "PETA" you will come across lots of pictures of a half-naked actress named Peta Wilson.  Just FYI.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Our Town's Sheriff Has Fleas

Han, my oversize and over friendly Labrador Retriever, was playing with some other dogs the other day and one of the dogs, a black Dachshund named Gretel, was being mean to a little puppy.  Han calmly walked over, picked her up in his mouth, carried her to a corner of the fence, set her down, and stood there and watched her.  Neither dog moved for a good five or ten minutes.  Finally, Han got up and walked away and Gretel went back to playing.

Then it hit me, my dog just put another dog in "time-out".


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

I just poured Super Glue into a non-stick pan.  Somebody is about to be wrong.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

What I'm Currently Reading

I've been putting if off forever but I finally broke down and started A Game of Thrones.  I'm only a few chapters in but I'm liking the characters so far.

By the way, the first person that spoils any of it for me will be beaten about the head and neck with a German chocolate cake.  I'm serious!


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

I'm a Junkie

Netflix, you're killing me.  I'm trying to catch up with the last season of Breaking Bad and you keep buffering.  Not cool, Dude.

Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, July 26, 2013

He Shoots, He Scores

Mrs. Penguin and I took Opus Jr. and a couple of the grand kids to Chuck E. Cheese the other day.  While we were there Opus Jr. challenged me to a game of air hockey.  I guess the young lion thought it was time for him to challenge the alpha male for the right to rule the pride.

We're playing and I'm beating him like a drum, of course.  I'm serious, it wasn't even close.  I think the score was seven to zero or something like that.  He was getting pretty frustrated and he was determined to at least score one goal.  He had the puck sitting right in front of him and he was planning on making the world's most powerful air hockey shot.  He had the little paddle in his hand, he cocked his arm back as far as he could, he slammed the paddle forward in a sweeping arc of power and majesty, and he completely missed the puck.  The paddle went zooming through the air and passed within inches of my head.  The best part of this trick shot is after he let go of the paddle he pulled his arm back and it brushed the puck that was still sitting right where he left it and it slid back into his own goal.

I busted out laughing and he started whining about how that goal shouldn't count. After I stopped laughing I told him that I would let him make one goal to make up for that one.  I moved my paddle off the table and presented him with a wide open goal.  He tapped the puck and it slid slowly toward my end of the table.  I couldn't help myself, at the last second I reached down with my paddle and smacked the puck back toward the other end.  He wasn't expecting it so he couldn't react in time and the puck went into the goal.  Now he was really howling!

Okay, I apologized and promised him that he could have two goals and I wouldn't trick him again.  This time he made me step back from the table.  He wasn't taking any chances so instead of just tapping the puck he smacked it pretty hard.  He was so concerned about my blocking it at the last second that he didn't take the time to aim very well.  Big mistake!  The puck missed my goal, rebounded off the wall and shot like a rocket right across the table and into his goal.

At this point I was laughing so hard that I was on the floor with tears in my eyes.  When I finally got my breath back I went to say something to Opus Jr. but he was gone.  Apparently he just put his paddle down and walked off without saying a word.  To this day that game has never been discussed again.

Some people are sore losers.  Then again, some people are sore winners too.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Talking Dirty

Last weekend Mrs. Penguin and I went to a farmers market.  We checked out all the fresh produce and bought a few we've never heard of before.

The thing that caught my attention was all the spices.  I'm use to seeing spices in little bottles, so it was weird seeing huge piles of fresh spices.  I was like a kid in a candy store and I had to smell about every single one of them.

Let's fast forward to lunch.  We went to eat at a little BBQ place and I whenever I went to eat something I noticed that it smelled great but the taste was rather bland.  It wasn't until after we left that I figured out the smell was coming from all the spices on my hands from the farmers market.  I turned to Mrs. Penguin and said, "I should have rubbed my hands all over my meat."  Her response was, "Do whatever you have to do, just don't tell me about it and clean up after yourself."


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What I'm Currently Reading

Dan Brown's Inferno.

Without a doubt, he has a definite style.  It's almost as if you're reading a history book more than a mystery novel.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, July 5, 2013

Their Service was Garbage

We used a service to pick up our household trash that was a complete joke.  If we were lucky, they would pick up our trash once a month instead of once a week like they were suppose to do. Back in February we called and cancelled our contract with them.  Yesterday we received another bill from them.  This is the conversation I had on the phone:

Garbage Man:  Hello.
Me:  Hello, we had service with you but we cancelled it four months ago and I just got a bill in the mail.  As a matter of fact, I've gotten a bill ever month.
Garbage Man:  Obviously the service wasn't cancelled.
Me:  Didn't you notice that I haven't paid you for months or that you haven't picked up our trash either?
Garbage Man:  Uhhh....
Me:  Listen, even when we did pay you, you never showed up on the right day or you only picked up a portion of the trash.
Garbage Man:  Uhhh...
Me:  That's not important anymore because we're using someone else now.  You need to just stop sending us bills.
Garbage Man:  Well, you're going to have to pay the final bill.
Me:  Why?  You didn't do anything to earn that money?
Garbage Man:  But we still had you on our books so it will have to be paid.
Me:  Let me get this straight, if I hadn't called I could have just not paid the bill and no one would have noticed.  Heck, you might of still picked up my trash once or twice a month even if I didn't pay.
Garbage Man:  We would have noticed and turned you over to a collection agency.
Me:  Why am I arguing with you?  You want to get paid?  Fine!  I'll drop the check into our trash can and put in by the curb.  Let's see how long it takes you to pick it up.

Just for the record, I'm not paying them squat.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Got Milk?

If your family is like mine, then you usually go through a gallon of milk pretty quick.

I hate standing in the dairy isle of a grocery store while some old hag digs through all the jugs of milk looking at expiration dates.  She's looking for that one magical carton that won't expire until the cows come home.  I want to ask her how often she has to throw out old milk.  Seriously, does she have to trash milk because she's kept it past the expiration date?  Does it happen often?  Here's a thought, get a smaller carton of milk!

Since we go through milk so quickly, I just grab the first carton I see.  It's not an Earth shattering event but it does save me some time and it makes my life that much simpler.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

40 - Love

Over in England the Wimbledon tennis tournament is currently happening.  Other than really athletic girls in tiny skirts, does anyone care about tennis?

Let me say it again, hot girls in mini skirts.  Now that's what I call a sport.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

This Post Goes Along With the Last Two

I must be really slow.

In college I had a roommate named John King.  He always said that he wished his first name was Joe so he could introduce himself by saying, "Hi, I'm only Joe King."  Get it?

I wrote that whole last post and it never clicked that the guy's name was Joe King.  I've got to look up my old roommate and let him know.  I have no idea where he is but just on a hunch I'm willing to bet I could find him by looking up police records.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

They All Float Down Here

Just a little update on yesterday's quick post.

I mentioned that I was reading Joe Hill's NOS4A2 in yesterday's post.  I'm about 2/3 of the way through the book and I finally realized something.  As I was reading it I noticed it sounded a lot like a Stephen King book.  The style of writing, character development, back stories, and overall flow seemed just like King's works.  Heck, even things from King's books were mentioned like "Shawshank prison" and "inworld".

At this point I knew something was amiss.  I looked up the author, thinking it might be a pen name of King like back in the day when he used Richard Bachman on some of his books.  Close but no cigar.

The author, Joe Hill's full name is Joseph Hillstrom King.  He's Stephen King's son.  If you ever see a picture of father and son you'll know they're related (or cloned).

I understand when a child of a famous parent uses a stage name so they can succeed or fail on their own merits (ie Emilio Estevez).  However, if you're not going to do anything different then your parent you might as well make the best of the connection.  Joe Hill's book is so obviously influenced by his father's work that it would only make sense to have it sit right next to King's books on bookshelves.  Plus, if you're going to take concepts such as names and places from your parent's work then you're not really succeeding on your own.  It's as if you used their work but not their name.

Oh well, if Stephen King doesn't mind then I guess it's none of my business.  Plus, I like the book and it's good to know that style of writing will continue after King retires.  Just as long as Hill doesn't do a long series with the world's worst ending (yeah Stephen, I'm talking about you and The Dark Tower series!).  Seriously, the ultimate bad guy who influenced and destroyed entire worlds and all you could come up with was him throwing snitches from the Harry Potter books?


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

What I'm Currently Reading

I know you don't care but it's my blog, my rules.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

I Got to Pet a Kangaroo

Let me start off by saying that I'm not a big fan of zoos.  It seems so mean to stand there and stare at an animal in a small concrete pen.  Also, they always look so sad.  It's as if they're saying, "Yeah, I've got security and I never have to worry about food but there was a time when I could come and go as I please, I could hangout with others of my kind, and I could romance anyone who caught my eye.  Plus, I use to be able to throw poop at lions."

With that being said, let me tell you what we did last Saturday.  Mrs. Penguin, Opus Jr., a couple of grandsons, and I went to a drive through safari.  If you're not familiar with a drive through safari type zoo then let me introduce you to Google (although I like Bing better).  I mean, seriously, do I have to explain everything to you?  Look some stuff up on your own.  I swear, you're like one of my children!

Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.  Back to the story.

This place had a large walk around section that was way cool.  It was very hands-on with the animals and kids really loved it.  They played with monkeys, turtles, kangaroos (see the title of this post), pigs, sheep, and ect.  The drive through part was just as awesome.  We had emus, camels, zebra, and several types of antelopes and deer stick their heads into our car.

I'm going to wrap up this post by saying two things.  First, if you have the opportunity to see one of these parks you should give it a try.  Second, I don't know what kind of deer that was but that little sucker bit really hard.  My finger still hurts.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Play Ball

I surprised Opus Jr. yesterday by taking him to a minor league baseball game.  He went to one of the games last year with his class and I went too and he loved it.  He kept saying that he wanted to go to another one so I thought I would surprise him.  We had a ball.  We ate junk food, cheered on our team, and just talked about random stuff.  I would be happy to just spend the rest of my life re-living that day.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, June 28, 2013

You're Not As Cool As You Think You Are

I don't care if it's Facebook, Twitter or your blog, if you're shirtless in your profile picture then you're a douche.  Unless you're a hot chick but even then there are rules.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Loosen Your Belt

If you work really hard and believe in yourself, every pizza is a personal pizza.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

It Was A No-Win Situation for Me

Let me set the scene for you:  Mrs. Penguin and I are at the beach and a young woman in a bikini walks by.

Mrs. Penguin:  Boy, she has a nice boy.
Me:  You use to look like that.

Let me set the scene for you:  Me sleeping on the couch.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

In Honor of the Tour de France

Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own?

Because it's too tired.

Get it?  "too tired" = "two tired".
It has two tires..
Oh come on!  That was funny!

I've got to get a more immature audience.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

I Promise I'm Paying Attention

Does anyone else sit in church and count things in the crowd?
Things like;
How many people are wearing blue shirts?
How many men are balding?
How many attractive women are there?
How many people would I being willing to bet are smokers?
How many people are playing on their phones?
How many people are counting me?


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin


Super Genius

I hate that Wile E. Coyote will go down in history for his inability to catch that roadrunner and not his incredible talent of painting tunnels on the side of cliffs.  He was a true artist.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Luck of the Irish

If Irish people are so lucky, why don't they win more lotteries?

Just wondering.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

It Brings Out the Color in Your Eyes

Have you noticed there aren't many fashion blogs that feature the burka?

Fashion blogs confuse me.  How does someone get thousands of followers just by telling people what they're wearing everyday?

I'm lucky to find socks that match, so I can't spend too much time worrying about what someone else is wearing.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Thursday, June 27, 2013

An Angel from Asgard

See the woman in the picture?  Her name is Katheryn Winnick and she's an actress who stars in the History Channel show Vikings.  She's a beautiful, glamorous woman and there are tons of shots of her on the internet where she's looking sexy in designer clothes or bikinis but I think she looks best as a shieldmaiden.  There's just something about the way she pulls off this look.

I need to move to Scandinavia.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Not All Dogs Go to Heaven

I was visiting and elderly woman and the TV in the room was tuned to Dog the Bounty Hunter.  If you've never seen this show then you should consider yourself lucky.  It is the stupidest show since The Brady Bunch went to Hawaii.

Speaking of Hawaii, that's part of this story.  Dog and his family are bounty hunters that live in Hawaii.  On this particular episode Dog notices that one of the people they're looking for has left Hawaii and went to Las Vegas.  Dog said that they are now an "international fugitive".  I'm not sure if he doesn't know the meaning of the word "international" or if he doesn't know that Hawaii and Nevada are in the same nation.  I think his mullet is strangling his brain.  Either that or he's high from all that hairspray that he uses.

There are two things about the show that cracks me up.  First, the whole "team" uses either paintball guns or pepper spray because they're all felons who can't carry real guns.  Second, they have to bleep every other word they say but whenever they capture someone they start preaching about Jesus to them.  Hypocrites.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

All Hail Caesar

The next time you think you've done something stupid just remember the Roman leader Caligula.  He declared war on the Greek god Poseidon so he had is entire army march to the sea and attack the water.

All I can picture is a bunch of dudes in leather skirts stabbing waves with spears.  If you were one of those soldiers how could you face your family that evening?  I feel bad enough when people ask me how my day went and I have to admit that I took a four hour nap in my office.  Imagine if you had to tell them that you spent the day poking water with a sword.  I guess it would be a little better if you stabbed a fish or something while you were there.

Ah Caligula, you crazy toga wearing Roman, you have to be considered the worst leader any country has ever had.  Oh wait....Obama.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, June 21, 2013

Splish Splash

Am I the only one who sits in the bathtub and pretends like they're skinny dipping?  How about standing in the shower and pretending like you're naked in the rain?


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Crap Apple


What did we do on while we were on the toilet before we had smart phones?


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Someone Go Get My Nobel Prize

I'm such a genius.  I was sitting here minding my own business when I found the key to world peace.  Are you ready for it?  Here it comes...

BIKINI CONTESTS

Oh yeah, you read that right.  We could settle all of the wars with bikini contests.  What, there's a dispute over a border?  We'll get a bunch of beautiful women from our country and you get a bunch of sexy women from your country and we'll settle this like men. It's perfect.

How has no one thought of this?  I feel like Einstein discovering the theory of relativity, or Neil Armstrong taking that first step on the moon, or Mr. Twix when he figured out that he could trick people into thinking they had more candy if he just made two smaller pieces.

There is one drawback to all of this.  Since the country with the best bikini clad women would dominate all conflicts, that means we better all start learning Danish really quickly.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Italian Workmanship

I'm constantly being made fun of at work because of the size of my car.  One of the topics that comes up a lot is what would happen if I hit a deer?  Yesterday, I found out.

I'm taking GD1 home to her mother at 10 o'clock at night.  Why?  Because she's all about spending the night at our house until the word "bedtime" is mentioned.  Then she suddenly misses her mother who lets her stay up until there is nothing left on TV except a continuous loop of SportsCenter.

Everything was going good on the trip until a suicidal deer runs out into the road.  I have to tell you, I performed some serious Bo Duke style driving.  I had that car looking like we were auditioning for Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift 2.  I drifted to the right, I performed a hairpin turn to the left, I'm telling you I was shucking and diving that little car.  The deer kept changing directions and trying to commit suicide by Fiat but I was too fast for him.  If he would bob, I would weave.  If he would zig, I would zag.  If he would peanut butter, I would jelly.  I owned him!  I slid around him without even messing up his hair.  I felt like a true master of machine and beast.

Then I saw his friend.

BLAM!  THUD!

Listen, I understand that the first deer was suicidal.  Maybe his girl had just left him, or maybe he had some deep seated mommy-issues.  Whatever the case may be, it was obvious that he wanted to die.  I'm sure he didn't want to face the end all alone so he asked his friend to come with him and hold his hoof as he went into the light.  Never in any one's mind did the thought occur that he would live but his friend would snuff it.  Oh, the irony.

By now I had come to a complete stop.  I jumped out of the car and ran around to the front.  There was no deer.  I looked around and there was the deer standing in the road looking at me with a "eff you" look on his face.  I couldn't believe it.  He wasn't even hurt.  Great, he totaled my car and he was going to get away with it.  I looked at my car and...

There wasn't a scratch on it!  The bugs on the front were a little flatter but that was it.  I looked at the deer and gave him a "eff you too" look.  If the world would have evolved to the point were all men and animals understood each other, then I'm sure at that moment we would have fist bumped and gave each other a little nod in a manly fashion.  As it was, we simply went along our merry way.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

Friday, June 14, 2013

Time Flies

Holy crap, I can't believe it's been almost eight months since I've updated this blog.  I feel like such a failure. I'll try to update you on what's been going on in my life.  I'll just hit the highlights on a month by month basis.

Let me give you some background before I begin.  I work in a small department with three other people.  One of the people I worked with committed suicide back in August.  We knew he was a "little off" for a while but we found out later that he was feeling off kilter and he went to see several doctors.  The doctors gave him a combination of mood altering drugs that obviously didn't go together real well.  After a bad day at work, he went to see a doctor and then went home and shot himself.  We were all stunned.

He was replaced by a guy who worked for three months then went back to his old job.  That guy was replaced by a guy who worked for a couple of months and proceeded to leave work one day and have a stroke.  That guy was replaced by another guy who is hanging around at the moment.

However, one of the other guys that has been here since the beginning has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

I'm starting to think that my department is cursed.

Sorry for such a downer post after such a long delay.  I'll try to lighten it up.

November

Thanksgiving!  For any non-American who doesn't know what Thanksgiving is, let me explain.  It is about (blah blah blah) pilgrims (blah blah blah) family (blah blah blah) being thankful. And FOOD!  This year I decided I was moving away from a traditional turkey so I made a goose, a duck, and some quail.  It was yummy.  As a matter of fact, I ate so much that I'm still full.

December

December 21 I got out of bed at 3:30AM, worked until 8:00PM, drove home, grabbed my suitcase and D3, drove 15 hours, hung out in Pittsburgh all day, got a couple of hotel rooms for the night, got up the next morning, watched the Pittsburgh Steelers play (!!!), drove 15 hours back home, and enjoyed Christmas with my family.  It was a great weekend.

January

Mrs. Penguin and I started an online business.  Nothing big, just something we could do together.  D1 decided that she would try her luck at it as well and she's kicking our butts.

February

I had a birthday.  Yeah, me!

March

I don't really remember what happened in March... or April... or May.  It couldn't have been too awesome.

Oh well, that brings us up to date.  I'll try to be better, I promise.


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin