Thursday, September 5, 2013
I'm a Real Whiz
My alarm goes off at 3:30 AM and I jump out of bed to turn it off before it wakes up anyone else in the house. I'm very considerate like that! Then I prowl through my dresser for underwear and socks and then my closet looking for the rest of my clothes.
Here are a couple of facts that I've left out. I do my clothes shopping by the light of my phone. Why? So I don't wake up Mrs. Penguin. Again, I'm considerate like that. It's hard enough trying to find socks that match or a shirt and pants that go together when I'm at my best, but at 3:30 in the morning while I'm half asleep and almost completely blinded by the lack of light is a herculean task. Here's the other fact that I've left out, when I wake up every morning I'm on the verge of peeing all over myself. I'm talking about a beaver's dam trying to hold back Noah's flood.
Now since I'm so considerate, I don't like to leave the room and then come back because I'm afraid I'll make too much noise and wake up Mrs. Penguin. See what a nice guy I am? What I end up doing is quickly jerking clothes out of the closet while I go back and forth from foot to foot doing the Pee Pee Dance.
I'm a grown man, yet this is my life *sigh*.
Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin