Friday, August 24, 2012

Yes, I Know It's Crooked

This is the picture that hangs directly above my desk at work.

I'm so bored that I'm taking pictures of a picture.

There's actually a weird reason that it's there.

A picture use to hang in the outer part of my office but every time a certain bigwig brought in a customer he would reference the picture by saying "Look at beautiful downtown Smallville."  Then he would make this gutteral laugh that, although I've never heard it, sounded to me like a walrus receiving oral sex.  It drove me nuts.

I spend a couple of years trying to find out who was in charge of decorating our business.  No one seemed to know so I assumed no one would care if I redecorated my part.  I looked around until I found a picture that I liked then asked the manager of that department if they would trade with me.  They were cool with it so I swapped pictures.  Only, it wasn't that easy.  The pictures had different modes of support.  I had to remove all the hardware on the backs of the frames and swap them.  It took several hours and there was quite a bit of blood and cussing.

I was so proud of myself.  That feeling lasted for two days.  The very next time that bigwig came into my office with a client he looked at the new picture and said, "Yeah, I finally got them to change the pictures in here."  What?!

The minute they left I yanked down that picture, hung it directly over my desk and filled the empty space with a medical poster showing a diseased smoker's lung.  Let him take credit for that!


Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin

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