Higher Learning

I'm thinking about going back to school.  Does anyone know if it's possible to major in sitting on the couch watching old reruns of The Simpsons?  I'm pretty sure I could test high enough to bypass the first couple of semesters.

If I did go back to college, the first thing I would do is join a sorority.  Yeah, I know they're for girls but this is my fantasy and I would appreciate it if you didn't ruin it.  It would be great, classes in the morning to sharpen my mind and broaden my horizons, then bikini pillow fights at night to make sure I was all tuckered out so I could sleep with a smile on my face.

Before you ask, yes, I do look great in a bikini.  Well, "great" may be too strong of a word.  Let's just say I'm a mix between Gisele Bundchen and the Snuffaluffagus from Sesame Street.

Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin