What's the Plural of "Doofus"?

Daughter #2 is married to a doofus.  Actually, that may be an insult to all the doofus-es of the world and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize.  For the remainder of this story we shall simply call him Lazy-ass.  You'll understand why later.

Neither D2 (Daughter #2) or Lazy-ass will ever have to worry about attending a Mensa meeting for new members.  That is unless they're there to park cars or do the dishes.  Other than that, Mensa won't come knocking on their door.

Over the last three or four years D2 and Lazy-ass have lived in several rental properties around the town. However, they always seem to keep returning to Lazy-ass's parents house.  Why?  Because no matter how nicely you ask, those cruel landlords unreasonably want to be paid for letting you live in their properties.  Seems unfair doesn't it?  Well, it does to D2 and Lazy-ass.  Even more baffling to Lazy-ass is the fact that those greedy, heartless slumlords won't accept the rent in leftover marijuana roaches.  Seriously, what is this world coming to?!

There is always drama surrounding D2 and Lazy-ass but when they're living with his parents it really gets kicked up a few notches.  Let me fill you in on his family.

The Dad - old hippy who thinks the world should pay for him to sit home, smoke dope and play video games.  Seriously, the guy is pushing 60 and he still sits around getting high and playing video games.  He seems to have an allergy to work and he can't under why people just don't give him money.  I'm not making up this next part.  He had a plan to get on government disability.  He thought that he would go to a bunch of job interviews but fail them so he wouldn't get this job, then he would file for disability because he was too anti-social to work.  He finally got a job working at a gas station three days a week.  Since then he has written several letters to government officials complaining about how no one should have to work that much and if you did then you're just a greedy corporate sell-out.

The Mom - worse than The Dad.  She's not married to The Dad even though they have been together for nearly 30 years.  It seems that she was married to another guy years ago and he died.  Since he died she has been receiving a check from someone but those checks will end if she ever gets re-married.  Well, we couldn't have that happen could we?  She use to work with an accountant friend of hers every year around tax filing time.  She would work for two months then take the rest of the year to recuperate from those terrible 4 hour days she put it.  She said that she made enough in those two months that she didn't need to work the rest of the year.  Of course, she also badgered D2 and Lazy-ass for money on a daily basis.  Boy, talking about pumping a dry well.

The Sister - I don't know much about her.  I know she married some guy who works on gas wells or something like that.  They moved to Pennsylvania for a while so he could work but they have since moved back in with The Mom and The Dad.  Apparently he was making good money there so The Mom ran there and moved in with them.  When The Sister told The Mom that she could stay but they weren't giving her any money The Mom came running home.  When The Sister moved back she brought her two new babies with her.

The Brother - I don't know anything about him or his "partner".  Well, I do know something about him; he has a "partner".

I think that's all the players.  Let's add them up.  The Dad, The Mom, The Sister, The Brother, Lazy-ass, D2, and four children under the age of three.  That is ten people living under one roof with a total of one job between them.  Classy.

There is so much more to this story but it's pissing me off even writing about it.  We'll come back to this post some day (after I've had a few drinks).

By the way, I know that I made fun of D2 and Lazy-ass's intelligence in a post that is filled with typos and bad sentence structure.  All I can say is...

Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin