Oh the Humanity!

Mrs. Penguin woke me early Tuesday and told me her car had a flat tire.  My first thought  was, "So?"  My second thought was, "Oh crap!"

I had two choices, I could either drag my butt out of bed at 6:00 in the morning or let her take my car.  Tough choice.  I'm not a morning person but I really don't want anyone driving my car.

Let me take a break from this post to assure you that, yes, I know I'm selfish.  OK, back to the story.

I told her that I would change her tire but she started whining about being late for work telling me not to worry my pretty little head because she would just drive my car.  She asked where were my keys?  Great, now I've got to reveal my hiding place.  This day is starting to really suck.

She takes my car and I'm a nervous wreck.  I wait until I know she's at work before I call her to make sure she didn't even hit a bug with my car arrived safe and sound.  I spent the rest of the day in a cold sweat thinking about her driving my car home during rush hour.  It was a long day.

Later that evening I see her pull into the driveway and I rush outside to check on my car her and ask how her day had been.  I see her step out of my car holding her phone to her ear.

"WERE YOU TALKING ON THE PHONE WHILE DRIVING MY CAR?!" I scream.
"Hi Honey, how was your day?" I ask.

I look into my car to make sure she didn't so much as change the radio station leave any personal item behind that she may need later and I see a coffee cup in the cup holder.

"COFFEE?  IN MY CAR?" I bellow loud enough that neighbors rush outside to gather up their children.
"Sugar-doodle, would you like for me to throw away this cup for you?" I say as I glance lovingly in her direction.

In the end we talked like a couple of high school lovers about how much I missed her and about how she really didn't like driving my car because she had to shift gears manually.  It was a good talk.

I slept on the couch that night.

Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin