Trolls, Goblins and Hags. Oh My!

I wish we had trolls.  I'm not talking about people being buttheads in chatrooms.  I'm talking about rock eating, living under a bridge, stealing sheep, trolls.  I don't know why but it would be kind of cool to hear a news report about trolls every now and then.

Anchorman:  We take you out to Shawnee for a live report.  Bob Talkinghead is standing by to give us the details on a strange sighting that took place today.  So Bob, tell us what happened. 

Reporter in the field:  Thanks Ken.  It seems a 17 foot mountain troll held up traffic in Shawnee today.  It has been reported to me that traffic on the West bound freeway came to a halt as the troll decided to take a crap in the middle of the road.  After finishing his business the troll wandered off looking relieved.  The highway department quickly cleaned the four foot pile of troll poop off of the highway and traffic resumed.  No word yet if the troll wiped afterwards.  Back to you Ken.

I would watch the news more often if there were reports like that.

Don't judge me,
Opus T. Penguin